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Ilyalwaysxoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

By ....... - / Tuesday 23 June 2009 17:56 / United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

By I_Am_The_Edge - / Thursday 11 June 2009 16:06 / United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

By ScoobieDoo - / Friday 20 March 2009 04:15 / United States

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

By gentileman - / Monday 16 March 2009 17:11 / United States
By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States