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  • One more and it's business time

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Hopestanfield10's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

By whathef???? / Saturday 13 February 2010 06:51 / Canada

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

By ElephantLover - / Wednesday 11 December 2013 20:14 / United States - San Diego

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

By KarateKid76 - / Thursday 5 December 2013 03:19 / Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 November 2013 03:42 / United States - Brooklyn

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 14 October 2013 07:13 / United States - Eagle Point