About Elitemittens
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Elitemittens's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Elitemittens's favorite FMLs

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

By IndianAngel96 / Monday 29 October 2012 22:39 / United States - Houston

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

By Medic / Monday 29 October 2012 03:10 / United States - Puyallup

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

By RedFox12 - / Sunday 28 October 2012 00:12 / United States - Philadelphia

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

By rubberduck1 / Friday 16 November 2012 05:04 / United States - Mattoon

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

By friedbutter / Sunday 28 October 2012 14:53 / Canada - Pickering