About Duckman9
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together. --- Sex is like poker: If you don't have a partner you better have a really strong hand. --- Internationally Renowned Expert at life-de-suckification --- I'm in love with my bed, we're perfect for each other, but the alarm clock just doesn't seem to want us together. Jealous whore! I dare you to message me :P
Duckman9's FML badges
  • King of the seas

    You reached the maximal level, nothing can stop you now!
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • I never take things to heart

    Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Colonel Whiskers

    Well done, you gave a Hug to our secret mascot!
  • Going for gold

    You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
  • Binkie

    You agreed with your own post. Nice.
  • One of us!

    Welcome to the club! You posted 5 times on the Timeline.
  • Godlike spy - level 007

    You're following 200 people
  • Master spy - level Maxwell Smart

    You're following 100 people
  • Amateur spy - level Johnny English

    You're following 50 people
  • Cheat combo

    You know the Gradius cheat code, well done master geek!
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • FAAAAAACEBOOK

    Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • VALIDATOR

    You said "I agree" with 1000 posts
    2%
  • Gandhi

    You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
    5%
  • I'm a rock star

    You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
    10%
  • Tommy Wiseau

    You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
    20%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    46%
  • Censored

    Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
    6%
  • Happy month-versary

    You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?
    73%
The list of badges to find
Duckman9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

By caroline - / Friday 6 February 2009 15:29 / United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 13 November 2010 07:14 / United States
By flying13 - / Wednesday 3 November 2010 07:27 / United States
By doesnttastegood - / Monday 1 February 2010 10:23 / United Kingdom

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

By mandy - / Saturday 5 September 2009 02:19 / United States