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  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Mobility

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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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  • The return of the thumb

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  • The thumb strikes back

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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    6%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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  • 50 quality comments

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  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Dlindemann's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 9 April 2012 22:32 / United States - Fredericksburg

Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML

By Brianna Weltmire / Sunday 8 April 2012 05:13 / United States - Denver

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

By thatsucks - / Saturday 28 February 2009 11:10 / United Kingdom

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

By dcort / Sunday 8 April 2012 16:39 / United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

By jordyn173 / Sunday 8 April 2012 03:19 / United States - Oklahoma City