About Diceddiamonds
Lol seriously fuck you all.
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Diceddiamonds's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

By a man / Saturday 13 July 2013 13:20 / United States - Houston

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

By Soph - / Monday 25 March 2013 21:53 / United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

By Stacy - / Saturday 13 July 2013 04:22 / United States

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 12 July 2013 20:27 / United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

By speechless / Saturday 13 July 2013 14:32 / United States - Mitchell