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  • Beginner

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  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
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  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
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  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
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    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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  • Socialite

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  • Profile completed

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  • A new thumb

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  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
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  • 50 favorites

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  • Tweet, tweet

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  • Judgmental

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  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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  • Perfectionist

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  • It's in the can!

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  • One more and it's business time

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Cpatte10's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 29 December 2011 11:25 / United States

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

By fuundmental/// / Saturday 9 April 2011 05:46 / Australia

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

By Anon. - / Tuesday 1 March 2011 23:51 / United States

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

By Sam - / Sunday 27 February 2011 21:42 / United States

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

By magoo16 / Monday 21 February 2011 17:48 / Canada