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Corwindagreat's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

By lunarboy - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 00:24 / United States

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

By anon / Sunday 16 February 2014 12:56 / Australia - Kingston

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 26 December 2013 17:27 / United States - Bessemer

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 15 December 2013 21:48 / Croatia - Rijeka

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

By badparent - / Monday 8 April 2013 04:26 / Australia - Southport