About Bizarre_ftw
I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc.. Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^) - i'm tattooed, fear me I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way. Email: [email protected] ... Let's see what happens :)
Bizarre_ftw - Followers
Bizarre_ftw - Followed
Bizarre_ftw's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Profile completed

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  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

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  • Consolation prize

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  • 50 favorites

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  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    20%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    10%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    19%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

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    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    65%
The list of badges to find
Bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

By OakStake - / Sunday 8 December 2013 22:07 / United States - New York

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

By HaedLei - / Tuesday 26 November 2013 12:17 / United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

By jazopalchris - / Monday 25 November 2013 23:42 / Australia - Mount Gambier

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

By haveahappyperiod - / Friday 4 October 2013 09:39 /

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

By 94lbs of muscle / Wednesday 2 October 2013 18:37 /