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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • One more and it's business time

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Aznguy13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

By isthisajoke / Thursday 15 January 2009 03:49 / United States

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 31 December 2010 08:06 / United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

By embarrassedmom - / Monday 18 May 2009 01:19 / United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

By warp_routine - / Tuesday 31 March 2009 14:17 / United States

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

By screwed / Saturday 24 January 2009 18:56 / Chile