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Annoyed_78's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

By lackadaisy_leah / Wednesday 15 May 2013 16:12 / United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 14 February 2013 00:00 / Canada - Coquitlam

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 13 May 2013 23:51 / United States - Quincy

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

By Annonymous_Dad - / Wednesday 1 May 2013 23:22 / United States - Fort Wayne

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

By laptitesouris - / Sunday 31 March 2013 23:35 / France - Pertuis