About Almostkilledme
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!
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Almostkilledme's FML badges
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    800%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    4%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    1%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    5%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Almostkilledme's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

By hahahehehohohoo - / Saturday 7 February 2009 03:55 / United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

By ihateseagulls - / Thursday 7 April 2011 23:28 / United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

By Jon - / Saturday 2 April 2011 16:44 / United States

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

By Username / Friday 1 April 2011 17:50 / United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

By WTF? / Friday 1 April 2011 15:55 / United Kingdom