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A1mostevi1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

By blah - / Sunday 15 February 2009 23:57 / Canada

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

By GuiltByTenuousAssociation - / Monday 1 March 2010 13:17 / United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 8 October 2009 19:04 / United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

By Anonymous / Monday 28 September 2009 16:28 / United States

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

By ripfluffy - / Monday 28 September 2009 07:15 / United States