About _g0d_
I am God, creator of mankind, creator of all. Bow before my almighty powers. If you are an atheist you shall belief. If you are a believer remember thy Ten Commandments of Holiness. 1.Thou shall not have any other gods before Me. 2.Thou shall not make any graven images unto thee. 3.Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. 4.Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 5.Honor thy father, and thy mother. 6.Thou shall not kill. 7.Thou shall not commit adultery. 8.Thou shall not steal. 9.Thou shall not bear false witness aganist thy neighbor. 10.Thou shall not covet.
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_g0d_'s FML badges
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    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    3%
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    56%
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    1%
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    44%
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    100%
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    14%
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    17%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    8%
  • One more and it's business time

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    1%
The list of badges to find
_g0d_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

By Ackbar - / Friday 27 February 2009 15:18 / United States

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

By wendtinmypants - / Saturday 31 May 2014 15:05 / United States - Omaha

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 8 May 2014 03:57 / United States - State College

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:47 / United States - Sparks

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

By Sam - / Sunday 4 May 2014 06:12 / United States - Eureka