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  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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  • 50 favorites

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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    13%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    19%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    15%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    74%
  • 50 quality comments

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    14%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    22%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Xmarshall16x's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

By fuck you, kid - / Wednesday 16 July 2014 18:56 / Australia - Brisbane

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 11 July 2014 11:03 / United States - Boston

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

By dammit hearing aid / Thursday 10 July 2014 22:17 / United States - Wallingford

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

By look how totally not racist I am! / Friday 11 July 2014 03:32 / United States - Salida

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

By oh my fucking god - / Thursday 10 July 2014 13:34 / United Kingdom - Derby