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Xthepredatorx's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

By Applejacks18 - / Thursday 6 June 2013 05:01 / United States - Helena

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

By anonymous / Thursday 6 June 2013 04:14 / United States - Tehachapi

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

By ApparentlyNotEno - / Wednesday 5 June 2013 20:40 / United States - Martinsburg

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

By The Clitshank Redemption - / Wednesday 5 June 2013 23:11 / United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:09 / United Kingdom - Worcester Park