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  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • One more and it's business time

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Tommymac8899's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

By Nemesis2747 - / Thursday 24 December 2009 06:09 / United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

By Anon / Monday 22 April 2013 07:19 / Singapore - Singapore

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

By letdown13 / Wednesday 3 April 2013 16:50 / United States - Binghamton

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

By crunknasty / Saturday 30 March 2013 05:19 / United States - El Cajon

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 29 March 2013 17:13 / United States - Lakeland