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Tehfrozenthrone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

By #201 - / Thursday 5 February 2009 13:23 / United States

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

By grlzze444 - / Tuesday 16 November 2010 00:19 / United States

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 13 November 2010 17:55 / United States

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 3 November 2010 17:14 / United States

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

By saraleerocha / Tuesday 2 November 2010 06:20 / France