About Smile_bitches
I love to listen to music. I adore piercings, and I am a military brat.
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Smile_bitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

By awesome - / Saturday 11 April 2009 17:36 / United States

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

By The_Black_Jesus / Sunday 31 March 2013 13:32 / United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

By Mr.no contacts - / Sunday 31 March 2013 07:00 / New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

By dumb tourists - / Sunday 31 March 2013 06:19 / China - Beijing

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

By My Life Is Just PERFECT / Saturday 30 March 2013 15:29 / United States