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Reimer711's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

By fmlatmovies - / Saturday 25 July 2009 15:07 / United States

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 June 2014 20:22 / Spain - Valencia

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

By EpicJman2828 - / Thursday 27 June 2013 04:27 / United States

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

By OPhere - / Monday 15 April 2013 07:37 / United States - Hayward

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

By ItsAnanya - / Tuesday 2 April 2013 15:34 / India - New Delhi