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Raidriar's FML badges
  • I moderated this!

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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    69%
  • One more and it's business time

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Raidriar's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

By green and not with envy - / Friday 13 June 2014 20:17 / Canada - Toronto

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 11 June 2014 22:46 / United States - Russell Springs

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

By AndrewKeane - / Monday 9 June 2014 16:26 / United States - Sugar Grove

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 2 May 2014 14:04 / United Kingdom - London

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

By dope_mcfly - / Wednesday 29 January 2014 16:55 / United States - Keene