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Rljj's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

By jeesh / Saturday 31 January 2009 11:48 / United States

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 6 November 2010 23:56 / United States

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 4 November 2010 23:54 / United States

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 15 October 2010 00:25 / United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 13 October 2010 13:20 / Spain