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Quoththeraven666's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

By fuck you walmart - / Friday 26 April 2013 22:03 / United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

By Anonymous / Friday 26 April 2013 09:17 /

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

By sad guy / Friday 26 April 2013 05:20 / United States

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 25 April 2013 20:36 / United States - Montgomery Village

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 25 April 2013 19:37 / United States - Norcross