About Paleinsanity
What's in a name: A friend of mine told me that he was the whitest boy in America. I told him I was the whitest girl. We bet a quarter (a whole quarter!) to see who was really the palest. I won. By a lot.
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Paleinsanity's favorite FMLs

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

By Stunned - / Monday 4 February 2013 09:15 / New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

By Anonymous / Monday 4 February 2013 05:15 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

By 3some? uh, no - / Friday 1 February 2013 19:59 / Dominican Republic

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

By ineedalife - / Saturday 2 February 2013 12:08 / Australia

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

By merp. - / Saturday 2 February 2013 06:57 / United States - Wausau