About Officerredgreen
I don't know what to type here so I'm just going to continue tapping these keys in the correct order to produce letters on the screen that form words with which I can communicate....
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Officerredgreen's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    58%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    3%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    6%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    16%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Officerredgreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 June 2014 20:22 / Spain - Valencia

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

By Cat vs. Dog / Monday 28 April 2014 21:03 / United States - Laramie

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

By half-dead in CA - / Saturday 31 May 2014 16:39 / United States - San Francisco

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

By todaddy - / Friday 23 May 2014 19:32 / United Kingdom

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

By BekkyLove15 / Monday 19 May 2014 00:12 / United Kingdom - Liphook