About Nymphetamatrix
Party time seal for your party time needs. Messages are welcome and so are party invites. ps. seriously sometimes i wonder why some FMLs even get published. Some are really not that big of a deal jfc people need to chill
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Nymphetamatrix's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

By down trodden - / Thursday 5 September 2013 07:45 / New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 16 August 2014 02:16 / Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

By turning red / Saturday 27 July 2013 01:14 / United States

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

By kaynotentirelywrong - / Thursday 15 August 2013 16:49 / Canada - Repentigny

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

By MarissaKayleen / Monday 12 August 2013 10:06 / Canada - Saskatoon