About Nuahavizu
I'm sarcastic, and my vices are that I am mildly self loathing and I dont take people who are optimistic seriously easily. Beyond that, I'm a pretty nice guy. Send me a message and help prove to me that humanity isn't full of jerks and egocentric horn dogs. So far, nobody has even tried. (what does that say about people eh?) I love music, and read every Pratchett book I can find. 'If you light a man on fire, he is warm for a day. If you set that man ON fire, he is warm the rest of his life.'
Nuahavizu - Followers
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Nuahavizu's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    137%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    23%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    46%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    38%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Nuahavizu's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

By Saberwolf - / Sunday 13 February 2011 21:14 / United States

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

By unlucky dudebag / Saturday 29 January 2011 07:29 / United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

By Keith walk / Saturday 12 February 2011 05:59 / United States

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

By damnbananas - / Monday 24 January 2011 20:38 / United States

Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML

By HFCS - / Monday 18 April 2011 04:53 / Canada