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Mukydacookie's FML badges
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    1%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    19%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Mukydacookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

By Boredom / Monday 26 January 2009 21:09 / United States

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

By NoBalls - / Friday 12 June 2009 00:23 / United States

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

By badmom - / Wednesday 10 June 2009 18:09 / Canada

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

By Anonymous / Sunday 7 June 2009 23:15 / United States

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

By ITguy1982 - / Thursday 28 May 2009 17:15 / United States