About Mean_mr_mustard
I do not have a list of favorite brethren FML'ers, favorite music, things I hate about fellow gentlefolk, and I do not loovve you. I don't even know you and if I do know you then I don't know that I know you and I still probably don't love you. I drive like a grandma, I have used tissues in my coat pockets from god only knows when, I snort when I laugh really hard, I am a narcissist, I have way too many phobia's to keep track, probably a mental illness or two, I have detailed conversations with myself in my head and have been known to act out argument I am having with myself from time to time, I am contemplating becoming a buddhist but I am not sure that I am ready for that type of a commitment just yet, I dislike to an extreme amount how homosapiens have treated this wonderland we call home, I am that girl that says "did you know....." way too much, and incase you were wondering I do in fact piss excellent. Basically if I was of the male population I would never get laid, but I am female and appealing to the retina's. This is niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice....
Mean_mr_mustard - Followers
Mean_mr_mustard - Followed
Mean_mr_mustard's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    300%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    15%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    5%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
    0%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    106%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    222%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    44%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    345%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    166%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    6%
The list of badges to find
Mean_mr_mustard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

By 30Jenna / Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:01 / Canada

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

By B - / Saturday 4 February 2012 01:17 / United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

By manhandled / Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:05 / Canada

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

By loves the smell of burning flesh / Tuesday 1 November 2011 13:22 / United States

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

By NoMoreMeters / Saturday 29 October 2011 00:19 / United States