About Macromartyr Not specified
Macromartyr - Followers
Macromartyr - Followed
Hugged!
Macromartyr's FML badges
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    60%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    62,800%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    8,800%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    1%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    1%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    5%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    1%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Macromartyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 13 October 2009 15:53 / United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

By Scarred - / Friday 4 September 2009 05:15 / United States

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

By esb - / Thursday 13 August 2009 15:23 / Canada

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

By abercrombieef - / Thursday 27 August 2009 23:57 / United States

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

By Mark - / Thursday 13 August 2009 22:30 / United States