About Kiwiblam
Yeah, I probably visited your profile, and yeah, I probably thought you were hot. Kia ora tatou from New Zealand!
Kiwiblam - Followers
Kiwiblam - Followed
Kiwiblam's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    10%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Kiwiblam's favorite FMLs

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

By chanclepants / Wednesday 27 January 2010 13:35 / France

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

By pissfaced - / Saturday 2 January 2010 13:41 / New Zealand

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 2 September 2009 09:39 / New Zealand

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

By ZSL - / Monday 17 August 2009 21:41 / United States

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

By simon - / Thursday 23 July 2009 22:09 / Canada