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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Checking you out

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  • Mobility

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  • Socialite

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  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    48%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    17%
  • The return of the thumb

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    3%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    7%
  • 50 favorites

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    40%
  • Judgmental

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    26%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    5%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Jazmineskyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

By bronieswillrule5eva - / Monday 11 June 2012 18:16 / Canada - Summerside

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 June 2014 23:50 / United States - Parker

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

By Carlee_Casten - / Tuesday 17 June 2014 20:51 / United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

By help me / Sunday 1 June 2014 15:51 / United States - West Hartford

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

By Idk - / Thursday 29 May 2014 06:46 / United States - Gainesville