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Hedgesquid's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    6%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    72%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    25%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
The list of badges to find
Hedgesquid's favorite FMLs

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 5 February 2016 09:55 / United Kingdom

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

By killmenow / Thursday 3 December 2015 05:33 / Canada - Halifax

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

By hiitisbrooke / Monday 23 November 2015 20:17 / United States - Dearborn

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

By friendless1004 / Thursday 12 November 2015 16:55 / United States - Santa Barbara

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

By Oli974 / Thursday 22 October 2015 13:08 / France - N?ves-parmelan