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  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    2%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    5%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    12%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Halestormer's favorite FMLs

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

By NickDrakeFan - / Tuesday 29 October 2013 01:57 / United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

By lorahayes - / Thursday 5 January 2012 18:39 / United Kingdom

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

By tommy / Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:41 / United States

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

By Hate2Date - / Monday 5 April 2010 05:14 / United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

By sarahh38 - / Wednesday 16 September 2009 18:23 / Canada