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  • Beginner

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  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    32%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    1%
  • A new thumb

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    2%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    2%
  • YDI Master

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    4%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Gfgneo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

By nutsucker - / Sunday 8 March 2009 19:08 / United States

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

By sarah6786 - / Tuesday 22 January 2013 02:27 / United States - Schenectady

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 21 January 2013 17:04 / United States

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

By Noname - / Friday 6 March 2009 19:04 / United States

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

By DrakeB - / Sunday 20 January 2013 16:34 / United States - Seattle