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Faceoffailure's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

By FML.. - / Monday 6 April 2009 19:51 / China

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

By Person - / Sunday 7 June 2009 18:07 / United States
By paranoid - / Saturday 6 June 2009 04:43 / United States
By Anonymous - / Friday 5 June 2009 21:33 / Canada
By Cail - / Monday 1 June 2009 23:12 / United States