About Eggthumbsalad
I am a huge PC gamer. Halo fan as well, Castle Crashers, Alien Hominoid, any other Xbox live arcade game you name it and I haven't played it... Just those two. I love Team Fortress 2 more than cookies. I suppose I'm a nerd, but I don't really think of myself that way... I think I'm quite normal, but I hate being serious. I love playing soccer as long as there isn't an annoying soccer coach yelling at me.
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Eggthumbsalad's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    24%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    1%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    12%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    50%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    19%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    97%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Eggthumbsalad's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

By Jesse - / Thursday 10 May 2012 21:22 / United States - Bothell

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

By anonymous / Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:55 / United States - Honolulu

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 23 March 2013 15:21 / Norway - Trondheim

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

By cjw / Wednesday 6 March 2013 00:07 / United States

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

By jkbeynon / Sunday 3 March 2013 04:18 / United States - Canyon Country