About Emfy313
Mah name is Albert Rungtoncilt and I like to look a dese FML stories and laugh my hairy a$$ off. I also like grape Popsicles, and I love to collect human eyebrow hair so if u got any to spare, hit me up!
Emfy313 - Followers
Emfy313 - Followed
Hugged!
Emfy313's FML badges
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    40%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    12%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    58%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    58%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Emfy313's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

By hahahehehohohoo - / Saturday 7 February 2009 03:55 / United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 December 2013 20:18 / Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

By bastard - / Sunday 22 December 2013 21:28 / United States

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

By fuck my eyeballs - / Sunday 1 December 2013 23:07 / United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

By Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / Wednesday 27 November 2013 07:08 / United States