About Disappearingrose
My FML's won't get published. :(
Disappearingrose - Followers
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Disappearingrose's FML badges
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The list of badges to find
Disappearingrose's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 11 July 2013 14:24 / United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 9 July 2013 16:07 / United States - Katy

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

By imawesomeokay - / Saturday 20 July 2013 05:53 / Mexico - Zapopan

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

By ugh - / Thursday 4 July 2013 18:28 / South Africa - Durban

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 26 July 2013 14:26 / United States - Campbellsville