About Cyclonepsycho
THINGS YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM FMYLIFE.COM: 10. DON'T GO COMPLIMENT FISHING (INTENTIONALLY OR UNINTENTIONALLY). YOU WILL ALWAYS BE INSULTED IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE. 9. LEARN THE NAMES OF IMPORTANT PEOPLE AND BUSINESSES. 8. DON'T EVER DRINK OR EAT SOMETHING YOU AREN'T COMPLETELY SURE ABOUT. YOU WILL REGRET IT. 7. STRANGE AND HURTFUL THINGS HAPPEN BEFORE/DURING/AFTER SEX. ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. 6. YOUR PARENTS WILL COMPLETELY OWN YOU WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE. 5. ALWAYS KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILD IS AND WHAT S/HE IS BEING SUBJECTED TO. OTHERWISE, IT WILL LEAD TO VERY EMBARRASSING THINGS BEING REPEATED IN HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE PLACES. 4. BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN PEOPLE DO WRONG. 3. BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN PEOPLE DO GOOD. 2. DON'T TRY TO LOOK COOL, BADASS, AND ETC IN FRONT OF YOUR CRUSH. YOU WILL ONLY LOOK FOOLISH IN THE END. AND THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM THIS SITE IS... 1. DON'T BOTHER. HE IS MORE INTO YOUR FRIEND/BROTHER/MOTHER THAN YOU.
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Cyclonepsycho's FML badges
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Cyclonepsycho's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss just looked at me and said, "No. You can't quit." FML

By toolegittoquit - / Monday 18 January 2010 08:28 / United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 14 January 2010 21:56 / United States

Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

By fmylifegirl - / Tuesday 29 December 2010 20:59 / United States

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:29 / United Kingdom