Capt_Oblivious

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About Capt_oblivious
You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give. Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.
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Capt_oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

By kenbez123 - / Wednesday 14 August 2013 07:55 / Malta - Santa Venera

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

By ANON - / Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:53 / United States - Sacramento

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

By Anonymous / Friday 10 May 2013 19:28 / United States - Warren

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

By anonymous / Friday 16 August 2013 14:05 / United States - Grandville

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

By bglenney / Thursday 15 August 2013 09:47 / United States