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Cannibalwhale's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

By Oops - / Monday 10 June 2013 11:22 / United States

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

By idiot / Friday 4 January 2013 10:13 / Sweden