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Butta07's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

By Girl123999 - / Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:07 / United States

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

By liveforpeace_ - / Tuesday 28 April 2009 06:27 / Canada

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

By hjgjh / Monday 27 April 2009 06:14 / United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

By meteorbabe0101 - / Tuesday 14 April 2009 02:11 / United States

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

By lanbon182 / Friday 10 April 2009 05:11 / United States