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Brooklynxman's FML badges
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    37%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Brooklynxman's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

By SucksToBeMe - / Monday 28 September 2009 18:31 / United States

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 28 September 2009 21:21 / United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 27 September 2009 05:16 / United States

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 28 September 2009 21:00 / United States

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

By SnuggieOverload - / Monday 28 September 2009 20:36 / United States