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    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Billyadict's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 28 October 2009 18:40 / United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

By lame - / Tuesday 20 October 2009 14:04 / United States

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 20 October 2009 10:56 / Australia

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 18 October 2009 13:36 / Sweden