About Assof2009
I've been to known to laugh at the wrong times, but I am a good person.
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Assof2009's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

By sandwichsex - / Saturday 8 August 2009 22:39 / United States

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

By Screwupify - / Thursday 6 August 2009 15:05 / United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 6 August 2009 11:11 / United States

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 5 August 2009 17:10 / United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

By unbelievable208 - / Wednesday 5 August 2009 05:28 / United States