About Alwayzbored1085
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Alwayzbored1085's FML badges
  • Beginner

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  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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  • I moderated this!

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  • Socialite

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  • The rules are the rules

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  • FAAAAAACEBOOK

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • The Mixer

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  • Judgmental

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  • It's in the can!

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  • I’m your new creative director

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    0%
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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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    2%
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    6%
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  • I liked to the power of 20

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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  • A new thumb

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  • 50 quality comments

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  • 50 favorites

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    12%
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  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    20%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • Perfectionist

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  • Work is a 4-letter word

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    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

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  • My diary is a collector's item

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  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
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Alwayzbored1085's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

By Artic - / Tuesday 12 April 2011 04:00 / United States

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 8 April 2011 23:42 / United States

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

By failure / Friday 8 April 2011 05:24 /

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

By ....... - / Tuesday 23 June 2009 17:56 / United States

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

By thatsucks - / Saturday 28 February 2009 11:10 / United Kingdom