About Jalapeno64
I live in Los Santos, California. I pay hookers for sex a lot then kill them to get my $ back. I deal drugs such as that oregano, some of that tylenol, cleaning products, ect. I have an M16 but with no ammo because I use it to shoot flies. So don't come anywhere near my house because I can whack you in the head with it!
Jalapeno64 - Followers
Jalapeno64 - Followed
Jalapeno64's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
The list of badges to find
Jalapeno64's favorite FMLs

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

By ScoobieDoo - / Friday 20 March 2009 04:15 / United States
By dumbfriend / Monday 12 March 2012 19:48 / United States
By ...... - / Saturday 8 October 2011 02:40 / United States
By Anonymous / Thursday 6 October 2011 16:17 / Canada
By katt_is_here - / Sunday 2 October 2011 05:15 / United States