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10to9's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States
By unpatriotic - / Thursday 4 July 2013 13:13 / United States - Eugene
By Never Going Back To The Doctor - / Thursday 4 July 2013 07:03 / United States
By OnPlanetVenus - / Thursday 4 July 2013 04:41 / United States - Hallam

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

By SpiderFather / Tuesday 2 July 2013 08:01 / France