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Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (10246)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (4332)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (3797)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (9381)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46360) - you deserved it (3834)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43980) - you deserved it (5398)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

#20985907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46514) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

#20981967
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36770) - you deserved it (2071)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50833) - you deserved it (3804)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (6352)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51235) - you deserved it (5340)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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