Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14871) - you deserved it (26911)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I attended my son's Christmas concert. When I went to sit down in the last available seat, a woman said she was saving it for her husband. Having nowhere else to sit, I stood in the back, for an hour. The seat remained empty for the entire concert. FML

#14214916
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (3965)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23311) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML

#14558780
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (4539)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML

#15416414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35123) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

#15576285
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (27877)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

#17894495
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (3985)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:08am - health - by smsmall - United States

Today, I was stuck at the airport overnight waiting for my flight for about 5 hours. I then went and looked at the departures board. It said that my flight had already departed. FML

#16116950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (19626)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Phantommajik - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

#19368838
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/29/2012 at 7:13am - misc - by toryzhere - Canada

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (6011)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3005)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: