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Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47058) - you deserved it (3183)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (46666)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48319) - you deserved it (3524)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

#20825248
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (4356)

On 08/07/2013 at 8:24am - misc - by noiguessitsbroken :( (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

#20835654
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm - love - by Zanovitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (8077)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (3101)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42962) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (61489)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (2344)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (6135)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



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