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Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (4716)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (4249)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (6081)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30274) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

#21352876
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25619) - you deserved it (4851)

On 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm - kids - by brazo667 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (2310)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (2219)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, at my school, we had the opening night of our production in which I act. None of my family or friends came. Basically, after 3 long months of hard work, the only person to "congratulate" to me after the show was the head of the theater department, who just wanted to tell me I was doing it wrong. FML

#6594222
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (3310)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by drama_queen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (8353)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

#8736997
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML

#8580387
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15094) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by car_FAILure (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

#9040800
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5958) - you deserved it (19124)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by loki (woman) - United States (Washington)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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